Wednesday, November 26, 2014
And it is Very Good
I believed one day, I'd steal moments of solitude in my kayak in that lake out back. I imagined lazy days writing, deep in thought while sipping hot tea. I would spend hours creating savory masterpieces for my family where every delectable bite is wrapped in love. Instead, I am a laundry maven, an errand goddess and a short-order cook lucky to get dinner on the table in time. I am a shuttle bus picking up here and dropping off there. I am a slave to a schedule, I am hurried, I am short on time. And it is very good.
I imagined living someplace where the locals sport cowboy boots or overalls and drive pick-up trucks or Jeeps-population 1,001. I imagined I'd dread out my hair and bathe myself in patchouli oil somewhere nobody would think I was strange or that I smelled funny. Instead, we drive mini-vans and SUVs and wear ballet flats. We live in suburbia with all of the other laundry mavens and short-order cooks and I rarely ever smell someone wearing patchouli oil. And it is very good.
Once, I fancied myself a future freedom-fighter, speaker on a soap-box, a pursuer of justice, hero to many. Instead I am just a mender of little girl's boo boos and broken hearts. I am helper to some friends. I am hero to only those who call me mom and I am loved by a man who will likely never move me to the mountains, but would move mountains for me. I am a pursuer of purpose, I am beloved and I am the daughter of a King. And it is very, very, very good.