Friday, March 4, 2011

A Very Romantic Night...NOT!

Tonight I had the first date with my husband that I have had in a very long time.  I wanted to provide a play by play of our date night in hopes of inspiring one of your own.  Romance was elusive tonight and initially, I was disappointed.  I always build up these date nights in my head of how romantic it is going to be and how that romance will sustain us through piles of homework, kids vomiting, task lists and the doldrums of every day life.   

Here's the play by play:

The husband buys a restaurant gift certificate and gets us a meal for half off of what it would usually cost us.  We stuff ourselves at dinner.  I overindulge until I am bloated.  Not too romantic.  The waiter provides Tootsie Rolls with our check, Andy ties the cherry stem with his tongue and accidentally spits it out of his mouth onto the table and tells me he really has to belch because he's too full.  I'm not feeling too romantic.

We make way back to the mini-van in the rain and at least after Andy has acted like he's a college student at dinner, he does still open the door for me.  We head off to see a movie.  Andy has already purchased tickets online.  He planned the entire date. Romantic.  He bought tickets for an action-thriller flick - for some wives, this would not be romantic, for me it's good.  I like a good action-thriller.  Andy and his Mom begin texting during our date.  Hmmmm...but they keep it brief.  The rain turns to a down pour and we have to park really far away.  I'm in my cute and dainty ballet flats.  Andy neglects to drop me at the door and I proceed to inadvertently step into every puddle on the way to the door. 

My ballet slippers are soaking wet and so are my feet.  I mean the shoes are wet enough to take off and wring out and I'm cold and wet and full - really full.  The theater is also full when we get there and we have to sit in the second row and look up for an hour and half.  All while I rest my bare feet on the arm of the chair in front of me hoping nobody notices because I really need to dry my feet and get them out of the shoes and I am NOT putting them on the theater floor.  Andy wants to hold my hand but I am not feeling very romantic.  He thinks it is hilarious that my bare feet are out of my shoes at the theater.  The movie was good and it was even a bit romantic.  Andy neglects to get the car and pull it up to the door so I proceed to walk back through the puddles to the car and I am convinced I am going to get pneumonia.

The heat won't kick on in the mini-van and we suddenly remember that we must purchase toliet paper on the way home.  Oh yes, so romantic.  I text Andy, "Love You" while he is in the store and I think I am pretty romantic to do so.  I wait for a return text but it never comes.  We continue along on our way home and I change the stations on the radio in the van looking for some romantic melody to salvage the evening.  Certainly some romantic tune will carry us away and remind Andy why he married me in the first place.  But I don't find a romantic song.  I find, Dream On from Aerosmith and Andy says, "Oh yeah, there ya go!" and I turn it up loud.  Very loud.  For about one minute and thirty seconds, we feel like teenagers and think we're cool and rock our heads back and forth.  Well, maybe that was just me.  Then I see an ambulance and remember something scary Jess told me about a friend of hers and I was reminded that I was a mom and not a teenager and my Aerosmith moment slipped far, far away from me. 

We pull onto our street at 9:23 p.m. and I whine that I'm not ready to go home yet and Andy reminds me that we are old and tired and out of discounted gift certificates and that I have wet feet and wet shoes.  We pull into our driveway where he pulls his phone out of his pocket realizing he has a text and sees that it's from me and just says, "Oh, I just got your text." and opens his car door and proceeds to walk into the house.  I get out of the car and almost fall into the muddy lawn and slam the car door on my doggie bag from dinner.  

It's just another adventure in the day of the life of a real housewife and it was nothing like I had planned in my head.  I realized as I entered our door laughing that I was laughing.  And I had been laughing all night long and so had Andy.  Not a trace of romance to be found, but laughter in abundance.  Laughter is needed.  Laughter is good.  Laughter is a gift.  And tonight, laughter was just what the doctor ordered.  I hope this inspires you to plan a very romantic date that instead, turns into a night full of laughter.  You deserve it.  Love your marriage.

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